Wednesday, March 2, 2011

They do it with heels

Give a person two fingers and a piano and they play Chopsticks.

Give them a pair of heels and they make a French Connection Spring Summer 2011 campaign.

The campaign centres around ‘Are you woman?’ and ‘Are you man’, attempting to bring each sex back to their roots. The collection has for men, Nehru-collar shirts, nautical stripes and chinos. For women, lace dresses, breezy printed tops, summer ideals. What I like about this campaign is that they’ve gotten over the whole ‘FCUK’ is almost ‘fuck’ and are now concentrating on creating their own style. Formal, but still casual. Perfect for the weather we’re in for.

Of course, if you're Liberace and playing Chopsticks, then you do it with a little help from flamboyance and Liszt.

I don’t know if this is the thought process for any pianist, but the first thing that came to my mind when I saw the FCUK video was a vision of her practicing for the ad. I keep imagining the girl in sweats and a t-shirt, dropping the lid as she opens it with her heels and biting her lip as she fudges the octaves, with no slow-motion breast-heaving jump at the end. Not as enticing is it?

As Ogden Nash aptly put:

'And 'Chopsticks' is their favourite melody,
And if there is one man who I hope his dentist was a sadist
and all his teeth were brittle ones,
It is he who invented 'Chopsticks' for the little ones.
My good wishes are less than frugal
For him who started the little ones going boogie-woogal,
But for him who started the little ones picking out 'Chopsticks'
on the ivories
Well I wish him a thousand harems of a thousand wives apiece,
and a thousand little ones by each wife, and
each little one playing 'Chopsticks' twentyfour hours a day
in all the nurseries of all his harems, or wiveries'.

(excerpt, Piano tuner, untune me that tune, Ogden Nash)

P.S: Did you know?

The French Connection is also the name of a prolific gay porn production company.

French Connection spring-summer 2011 collection: (very '70's vibe, no?)

Available in French Connection stores around the country.